Original Draft: How I Use AI on This Website
The original draft of David Flowers’s article about how he uses AI as an editorial tool.
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Couples Therapy
Practical guidance for communication, conflict, trust, connection, and repairing a relationship together.
How I Use AI on This Website
Every published word is subjected to review, revision, and approval by me.
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Your Partner Doesn't Need You to Fix Them
Many people focus on helping their partner be better. But that's not what a partner needs from you.
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Why You Need to Name Your Feelings
Most people think they're sharing feelings when they're actually describing reactions. The difference matters more than you'd think.
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Why People Avoid Therapy, Even When They Are Struggling
Why people avoid therapy even when they are struggling, and how to take a first step when your relationship needs support.
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You Already Know More Than You Think
Most couples come to therapy and pay a specialist to tell them things they already know but haven't applied.
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The One Thing Your Relationship Needs Most
There's one message that, communicated in everything you do and say, will transform your relationship.
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What to Expect in Couples Counseling
Not sure what couples counseling looks like session by session? Here's the full picture — what you'll get and what I expect from you.
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The Pursue/Withdraw Cycle: How to Break It Together
One partner feels an urgent need to talk, while the other feels cornered and tries to withdraw. Learn how the cycle escalates and how both partners can interrupt it together.
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Transform Your Pain or Transmit It
The pain you carry doesn't disappear on its own.
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Resenting Your Partner for Who They've Always Been
One of the sneakiest reasons relationships lose their spark: resenting your partner for being who they've always been.
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Why the Spark in Your Relationship Is Fading
Couples often don't notice the spark dying until it's nearly gone.
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What to Know Before Couples Counseling
Learn what helps couples counseling work: understanding feelings, handling conflict differently, and recognizing whether therapy is creating a clear plan.
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Why Most Couples Therapy Fails
Many couples leave therapy with the same problems they came in with.
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How to Actually Change: Find It, Face It, Follow It
Real change isn't about willpower. It follows a specific sequence most people skip.
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Your Arguments Are Never About What You Think
The topic of the argument is almost never the real issue.
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Responding to Your Partner's Feelings
Most people respond to their partner's feelings with their head instead of their heart. Here's what gets in the way — and what actually helps.
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Why You Can't Really See Your Partner
Everyone walks through life convinced their view is basically correct. In relationships, that certainty blocks real connection.
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Relationship Advice I Wish I'd Received
Four practical ways to handle conflict, understand each other, and repair after a hard moment
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How to Fight Fairly in a Relationship: 4 Ground Rules
How to fight fairly in a relationship: start gently, stay on one issue, take a real break when overwhelmed, and repair afterward.
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What Is the Gottman Method?
The Gottman Method is one of the most research-based approaches to couples therapy. Here's what it is, how it works, and why it's different.
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How to Predict Your Relationship's Future
Research predicts with stunning accuracy whether a relationship will succeed or fail. Here's what the predictors are.
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How to Make Love Last: 4 Habits That Matter
Four habits that help love last: invest in connection, create more positive moments, repair after conflict, and choose the relationship every day.
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When One Partner Won't Go to Couples Therapy: What to Do
What to do when your partner won't go to couples therapy, including how to bring it up and how to take a constructive next step.
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Clinical Depression in Couples Counseling
When one partner is depressed, the whole relationship feels it.
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Living in Separate Worlds in Your Relationship
Two people in the same relationship can have radically different experiences of it.
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The Ongoing Celebration of Healing Relationships
Healing in a relationship isn't a destination you arrive at — it's something you practice.
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Key Principles of Gottman Couples Therapy
Gottman Method couples therapy is built on 40 years of research. Here's what the core principles are and why they work. Davison, MI.
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7 Couples Therapy Objections — and My Honest Responses
Objections to getting couples therapy are common. Here are the seven I hear most often, with my best responses.
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My Marriage Is Struggling: How to Figure Out Why
When a marriage is struggling, the list of possible reasons feels overwhelming.
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How to Work on Yourself in a Relationship
Working on yourself in a relationship can help you show up with more honesty, steadiness, and care. Here are practical ways to begin.
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Kindness in a Relationship: Why It Matters and How to Practice It
Learn why kindness matters in a relationship, what it looks like in daily life, and how couples can practice it when things feel hard.
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Anger in Relationships: What's Really Underneath
Anger in relationships is almost always a secondary emotion. What's underneath it is what actually needs attention.
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Love Is a Verb: What That Means for Your Relationship
Love as a feeling will come and go. Love as a choice is what holds a relationship together.
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Why Resisting Couples Therapy Is a Bad Idea
The reasons people avoid couples therapy are understandable. They're also mostly wrong.
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Gentle Humor in a Relationship: When It Brings You Closer
Learn when humor brings a relationship closer, how to tell playful joking from hurtful humor, and simple ways to bring back more warmth.
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Why Specialized Couples Therapy Costs More
Specialized couples therapy costs more for specific reasons.
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When Your Partner Really IS Being Ridiculous
What do you do when your partner actually is being unreasonable?
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Emotional Flooding in Arguments: Why You Ramp Up. Or Shut Down.
Learn what emotional flooding in a relationship feels like, why it happens, how long it can last, and how to take a break without avoiding the issue.
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Repair Attempts: The Skill That Saves Relationships
Strong couples don't fight less — they know how to keep flying after turbulence.
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What Trust Means in a Relationship and How to Build It
What trust means in a relationship, why it is built through small moments, and practical ways to help your partner feel safer and more connected.
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Why Marriages Really End Over Dishes
Your marriage didn't almost end over dishes. It almost ended over something much older.
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